Here Come the Holidays!!

Well, goodbye Halloween Candy temptations......and Hello Thanksgiving, Christmas, & New Years.   I sailed through October pretty well, decided on Halloween to indulge in a couple pieces of  Halloween Candy.  Why?  Because, its Halloween and I'd been so good all month, I reasoned out in my mind,  that just  a couple little pieces wouldn't be so bad.   Of course, if I had the will power for just a couple little pieces it wouldn't have been so bad, but it took me a couple days to get myself back on track.   
So these next two months are filled with family, food and holiday cheer.   I am cooking a Thanksgiving dinner the weekend after Thanksgiving for my husbands family, so that is my next "Big Holiday" to survive.    Then we have all of December that is full of goodies and treats and Christmas parties.   I have lost 27 pounds, and I don't want to end the year by gaining that back in these next couple of months.  So, I have to stay strong and get through these next couple of months.........keeping focused.   Why must I have to work so hard to lose 10 pounds and then if I get off track I can gain 10 pounds in a month!   UGH!   Its so Frustrating! 
I think its getting the focus off the food for entertainment, and looking at it for nourishment to the body!  There will always be a focus around the food, that's just how we are.  There will always be a special event coming up that is focused around a meal or holiday treats.  So it's all up to me, to not take my focus off my ultimate goal, and get through these holidays, feeling accomplished and keeping my mind on whats important in life.  My Health is very important, I have been abundantly blessed by my family, I am so proud of my boys, all three of them.   They bless me each and every day, I want to be around to see their accomplishments in life.  I know they will be awesome!  I must brag a little on my sons here!!
Our oldest son, Clayton will Graduate High School next year.   Where did time go?   I am so proud of him.  He is so kind, he has such a big heart.  He also can be very funny!  He is making plans for his future and is very goal oriented.  I guess to describe Clay, I would say, he always views the glass as half full.  Very positive and encouraging.  And I can't wait to watch all his dreams come true!   He keeps us all in check, and what an awesome person he truly is!
Our middle son, Hayden will turn 14 in January and I still have to think about this and make sure I am correct...14?  Hayden is our thinker and worrier!  Hayden keeps us laughing.  Hayden has made such progress in school.  (Hayden has dyslexia and school has been a struggle from first grade.)  Hayden is very bright, and he is such a thinker that sometimes his comments blow us away!  He is enjoying band this year and we are so proud of him!  I honestly think he may be a lawyer some day, and the way that boy can debate, I am sure he'd be a good one!   He will accomplish whatever he sets his mind too.
Our youngest, Cayden will start Pre-K this next year and he is so much fun.  He keeps us on our toes and he is a very sweet, loving little boy, and  he has learned to debate also from listening to Hayden.  LOL!   He is a joy and we are so blessed to have him in our family.  Nothing better then picking him up after a long day, and seeing how happy he is to see me.  Ahhhhh. I Love that!!!   He is def. going be into sports, and has a natural athletic ability and I can't wait to be cheering him on.
I am keeping my focus on getting healthy and staying healthy for myself and for my family!  So as these holidays approach, I am already feeling accomplished........because, I'm gonna win this!!!   :)   

Understanding Triggers!

Wow.  It's been awhile since I have sat down and posted.  I have had a busy couple of weeks.  I am looking forward to the month of October!  September hasn't been a great weight loss month for me, still going down on the scales and that's the important part, because it's moving in the right direction!  But.....it's been slow!
I have a great weight loss support friend, and she has recently lost over 50 pounds,  I am so proud of her, she has remained focused along her journey and is very motivating to me.  I get very frustrated because I am not a patient person.  She has worked on this since Jan. so it hasn't been overnight for her either but all of a sudden, she is def. feeling her success.  
I have a blog I read about a guy who has recently lost 270 lbs, and he's an awesome writer. So today I am going to share what I learned off his blog, because I think this is what causes me to slide in the wrong direction so many times.  I have to understand what triggers the behavior and how to manage it.  I found this incredibly helpful  This is what Sean says:

Staying focused is sometimes a very difficult thing to do. Most of us know what our triggers are. Triggers are situations and circumstances that put us at our weakest point in terms of staying on track. My trigger is stress. Any and all stress. Job stress, financial stress, family stress. It all adds up to a big mess of stress. And I'm sure you've heard people say...”I'm an emotional eater”...aren't most of us? I'm not just an emotional eater, I'm also a celebratory eater and a spur of the moment craving eater, I'm a “ah, the heck with it, give me the double decker with extra cheese and bacon” eater. Identifying your triggers is important. What makes me feel the urge to eat a couple thousand calories in double cheeseburgers and ice cream? Stress. I identified this trigger several years ago. And for the longest time I've used that as an excuse not to get busy with this mission. “I'm just too stressed out to get started right now”...Or, after a successful couple of days, totally going nuts on a half gallon of tin roof sundae, then thinking...”I can't do this right now because things are just too stressful. So recently I had to ask myself: If I'm waiting to have a stress free life before I start losing this weight, will I ever start?


The answer was no. We all have stress in some form. Stress is part of daily life for most people. Stress can be so many different things. So I realized that if I were waiting for my world to be completely perfect and stress free, then I would never, ever, ever start this. We have to adjust our strategy in the face of our triggers. We have to stop long enough to ask ourselves, will eating this really improve my situation? What can I do besides over-eat that will help me deal with this issue? I've turned to food for comfort for so long, that I know how incredibly difficult this can be. My smart and beautiful wife mentioned taking one day at a time in a comment she left on yesterdays blog, and you know what? She's so right. One day at a time I deal with cravings, one day at a time I deal with triggers, one day at a time I succeed. Eventually all of those “one day at a times” will add up to an amazing result.
 
That's a very good information because I can so relate to what he said, and he's right, you deal with it one day at a time and you learn new habbits.
 
Christy mentioned the other day to me, it's about learning to use food for nutrition purpose, not for entertainment of comfort.  You have to totally train yourself to think differently about food and have a different relationship with the food.
 
Yep, I can do this!! I am doing this, and October is going to be a great month.  The weather is cooler, the leaves are turning colors, I love this time of the year!  I am blessed beyond  measure with a wonderful family!  I want to be around along time to enjoy my family!   A healthier lifestyle is a must, and it's getting easier everyday!       So we take this advice:   Take twice as long to eat half as much!  

Fall....Football.....Fair!!

Fall is approaching, I love the change of season.  I'm not sure that I honestly have a favorite, I just know I am always ready for the change........  Winter to Spring, Spring to Summer, Summer to Fall, Fall to Winter, just love the changes in the weather.   Fall is a nice relief from the HOT SUMMER!  Fall brings football and the fair.  Cooler air, and the beautiful leaves that change colors.  It also starts setting the mood for the upcoming holidays.  Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas will soon be upon us.  All of these bring us together with Family and what do we do?  GATHER AND  EAT!!!!    
I have set goals for myself and have to admit, I didn't make it last month.   I have lost 12 pounds, but that didn't meet my goal for my 1st month.  I am getting geared up tonight for this next month because I will meet my goal this next month!    Hayden and I have decided we will start going  bike riding in the evening.  He is pretty excited, but just thinking about it makes my hiney ache.  LOL.  
I was at Walmart on Saturday, and guess what greets you just inside the door?  Halloween Candy of course!!!  My favorite would be Brachs Candy Corn.  I wish I didn't like it.....but I love it!   It would be great if I could buy a bag and enjoy a couple little pieces a day.  But.......NO, it never works out that way!!!  I have to accept the fact that I can't have it at my house....period!   I am very impressed by people that are able to have dishes of candy like that sitting around for guests or children and are able to not eat any of it. I don't fall in the category of people ....so I won't even go down that isle.   I just wish they wouldn't make it so convenient in walmart.  LOL!   I found myself trying to reason why I needed to buy just one bag of candy corn, but I did leave without any in my basket......"Thank you Lord for giving the strength...as I know it wasn't me!"
I honestly don't have strength alone to fight this weight loss battle. and I know I need to be in daily prayer to be able to make it past each obstacle and temptation.
Our preacher today spoke about how we should pray, having complete faith that our prayers will be answered.   We stand strong on faith, already knowing it is God's will for our life.  We shouldn't pray  hoping it is God's will and hoping we will receive.   But as we pray.  we stand in our faith expecting and knowing that your prayer will be answered.  Of course its Gods will for me to lose weight!  It's God's will for us to be healthy!      A light came on today for me....Wow.  I need to pray with Faith,  expecting and knowing  its God's  will in my life and of course he will give me the strength that I need to overcome any temptations.  But you have to pray expecting to receive.  It was a sermon that I needed...isn't it awesome how God always knows what we need?  This will be a great month!  
“And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.” – 1 John 5:14-15

It's so much more than a football game!!

Yesterday morning as Clayton walks out of his bedroom, all dressed for "Game Day", with his football jersey on, our 3 year old jumps off the coach in awe..... WOW!  He knows what this is about, first football game of the season and Cayden is so excited he can't wait, he loves football!  His brother is a Buccaneer football player and he gets to go to his game tonight.  He is pumped.  He jumps into Clayton's arms, talking up a storm, he can't wait for the game. Clayton starts laughing, he says mom, I have never seen a kid like football so much.  He says are you gonna be a Buccaneer some day?  Cayden says, "YES", I am gonna play football too.  Cayden had to put his Buc shirt on, he couldn't wait until after daycare, nope we had to change clothes, right now, so he could be a football player too!!  
After I dropped off Cayden at daycare, I thought, It wasn't long ago, seems like yesterday, we would drive by that football field and I can remember Clay  wide eyed too, he was gonna be a Buccaneer football player someday.  He loved watching those games when he was little, he couldn't wait to be a football player, not any football player, he was gonna be a Buccaneer.  He talked about that for years.  His dad was pretty excited too.  Its so cute to hear little boys talk about their football dreams.  Clayton has a big imagination and he definitely had big football dreams.  I am not sure at what point he started not liking football, seems like it started in 7th grade.  Looking back, I am not sure it was about football, but he definitely had decided he didn't want to play in 8th grade.
Kinda hard to watch a kid that wanted to be a Buccaneer so bad, and play on that field in high school decide he don't want to play before he even really got a chance to play.
 So after not playing in 8th and 9th grade, Clay joins the team again his sophomore year.  We were pretty excited too, he was gonna be a Buccaneer football player after all.   As school started, Clay started to complain about football, how he didn't like it, and how he had made the wrong decision.  We told him, its too late your not quiting this season, you will play, you signed up, we already bought the things you need.  We have always said, you don't quit a sport after you sign up for the season!  Week two of school, Clay texts me at work, he says, MOM, I talked to Mrs Spoon, (the school counselor) and she said I could switch over to Cross Country that its not too late, so I am gonna do that.  I text him right back....Don't you do anything, I will pick you up at lunch today and we will talk.  I picked him up and we went to lunch.  Clay had some valid points, he admitted he joined to make his dad happy and he shouldn't have done that, he said I won't get to play mom I don't feel like I am part of the team, I am miserable.  I hate going to school all day, knowing I am gonna have to go to football.  (this was just like the first day of the second week of school, they had not started practice with full pads yet)    Clay was really upset that day, I told him, NO WAY was he quitting this season, he needed to get tough, and try to make the best of it.  I said it's more than football Clay, it is about commitment, being a team player, dedication and pushing yourself to limits physically when you don't think you have anything left.  You will learn alot this year.  Above all if you don't learn anything else, you will learn not to make a decision to please someone else..(meaning if he did make the decision to please his dad, it probley wasn't the best decision for him and since it was him that would have to live with it, he would learn to not make decisions to please other people).    He begged me to talk to his dad about it and see what his dad would say. Ha Ha.  I have been married to your dad for 20 years Clayton, I know exactly what your dad will say.  We won't need to  have this conversation with your dad, I am telling you myself, I don't support you quiting, you won't quit and you need to make the best of it.  I told him I loved him and only wanted the best for him and dropped him off at school.  After he got of the car, he slammed the door!  I cried all the way back to work.  Was I a terrible mom?  Are we being too harsh?  But i knew letting him quit was not the best decision.  So I prayed for him, prayed he would learn from this experience, and prayed he would have a good year.  Took several weeks, but it got better, he quit complaining, he didn't get that much playing time, but he seemed to fit in just fine, and became very excited as the team won Regional, and then on to State Playoffs and then on to WIN STATE, playing at OSU in Stillwater the State Game, winning the game 7 to 6.  It was a dream of many high school boys to even make it to a State playoff  high school football game.    He has a 2009 Championship football Ring.  How many kids get that opportunity?  He was proud, he stuck it out and he did learn alot through the experience.   
Junior year,  He went through summer pride, again right before school, I'm not sure mom, football consumes your life for like 4 months.   I said, Clay just play another year, and then if you don't want to play your senior year, we won't say a word to you.  ok?  He quickly agreed.  Again, as a mom I just  pray he learns through this experience.  We have some awesome coaches here in our town, and Clay has alot of respect for the coaches as well.  And I think this too makes a huge difference in the life lessons that can be learned by playing a sport in high school. 
This year, Clay seems pretty excited about the season.  He mumbles from time to time, about a hard practice, or about how tired he might be, but I can see a change in him and his attitude about it.  He is proud to be a Buccaneer.  Again, to me, its not about the game. And its not about football, it can be any sport.   It's about learning to be a part of a team, dedication, hard work, pushing yourself to those limits and then watching your hard work pay off.  How can you feel that accomplishment if you never drive yourself past that point where you think you can't, but then.....you find out that you can, and you did! 
I was very surprised yesterday when we went to order his High school Letter Jacket and he told the lady he would be playing again next year, a total of 3 years in high school.  I really didn't know if he would play again next year.  I didn't say a word, but I thought, hmmm, wonder when he decided that!
As we sat in the rain last night, watching the Buccaneers play their first season game in Morrison, I was waiting to see if my son would get a chance on the field. (and he did!)   I wasn't about to get up from those stands and miss it.   We were going to be there to watch.  He isn't on the first string Varsity team, but that doesn't matter.  It makes no difference to me, and I wouldn't be prouder of him if he was the star quarterback than I am already of him right now.    As I sat there in the rain, watching how excited he was for his team mates, how pumped up he was each time they scored, I couldn't have been prouder of my son.  He's a team player!  He understands it, he knows now its more than just about the game.  Oh, he seems to really love the game now, don't get me wrong....but I know now, he has it figured out, its a much bigger lesson than just playing football.   I am so glad he is playing football, living out his little boy dream of being a Buccaneer, and he may never be a starter on the varsity team, but his lesson in life he is learning through this experience is awesome.   I have no doubt in my mind though, he is capable of being as good as he wants to be.  My prayer this year is that he learns to go the extra mile and work just a little bit harder, pushing himself to be the best he can, and not settling for less than what he is capable of achieving. 
We have another son in 7th grade, and he's not really liking football this year either.  (what is it about mid high football that so many boys decide they don't want to play?)  I think its the changes going on in their bodies and peer pressure have alot to do with it.  All I know is....we have been down this road Hayden, your getting ready to learn some valuable life lessons and I am thinking right now, it's not gonna be a choice.....for awhile longer anyway, not because I love football.  It's so much more than a football game! 
I mention this story on my Blog because.....the road to our goals and dreams is not always easy.  It takes dedication, determination and not giving up!  Not quitting when things get rough.  Even when you think you can't, you have to try harder.....make some adjustments and keep going!   That's where I am today in my battle with weight loss that I will win!  I want to not only do this for myself but to show my boys, there is nothing you can't overcome.  The rewards in exchange for accomplishment in those things you have to really strive hard for are so awesome...I am not stopping, its a lifestyle change and I will get to my goal weight.  I am not quiting in the middle of my season.....quitters never accomplish what they set out to do!  If I am not going to accept my boys being quitters, why would I accept that for myself?  

It's a Busy Life!

Trying to stay focused and keeping on track, while living in a fast paced society is not easy!!  Have had a really busy week this week, tomorrow is already Thursday, that's my Friday..Thank Goodness! So approaching a 4 day weekend, and I am so ready for things to slow down a little bit.  I am feeling accomplished though, I have stuck with healthier choices when eating out, and have kept up the walking in the mornings.  I love my morning walks, but am so ready for some cooler weather, this morning was "HUMID" and Yuck, and that was at 5:40 a.m.   I am so looking forward to "Hoodie Weather".
Good news is, 9 pounds are gone...so one more pound and I can say, 10 pounds.   Then I can start over and lose another 10 pounds, etc etc.   Sounds better to me to lose  sets of 10 pounds.  LOL! 
Today is my husbands birthday, he and my two oldest boys are "Dove Hunting" this evening.  So I asked him what he would like for dinner.  His response was, anything is fine, you could just go by the grocery store and grab some Tony's pizza and cook those tonight, it will be late when we get in.  Yeah!  I got off that one easy.  I went to the grocery store, purchased the pizza, and even went the extra mile and bought him a PepperRidge Farms German Chocolate Cake.  He loves that cake.  I can easily pass up that cake...and the pizza too for that matter.  So Pizza and cake are ready for the boys when they get home.  I had Cheerios for dinner tonight, and I am so happy he was that easy to please tonight.   We have a  football game in Morrison tomorrow evening, and we will head that direction as soon as I get off work, I am excited.  Buccaneer Football....Fun Times!!   Football, Fall, Cooler Weather, and the Holidays!!!   Yes....Tis the Season.  Also I am excited because as each month goes by, and I lose another set of 10 pounds, I know that these sets of 10 will add up before you know it!   Yippee,  I can smell Success!!!

Learning to Drink enough Water Again!

I am having trouble drinking enough water.  I know I need to be drinking at least 64 ounces of water a day.  I have trained myself to do this before, and you actually get where you crave water.  I am working on that.  I did it today, I have consumed 76 ounces of water day!  YEAH!!!!  I looked up why your body needs so much water today....here's some facts that I found:

•Muscle consists of 75% water
•Brain consists of 90% of water
•Bone consists of 22% of water
•Blood consists of 83% water
The functions of water in human body are vital.

The water:
•Transpsort nutrients and oxygen into cells
•Moisturizes the air in lungs
•Helps with metabolism
•Protect our vital organ
•Helps our organs to absorb nutrients better
•Regulates body temperature
•Detoxifies
•Protect and moisturizes our joints

Every cell in your body needs water from head to toe. That is why it is so important to drink enough fluid. Take for example, brain consists of 90% of water, if you do not supply enough water to your body, your brain cannot function well, and you will get headache or migraine. Hence, next time, if you feel fatigue and headache, it may be the sign of dehydration.

DRINK YOUR WATER!!!

Cooler Weather means a wardrobe change!!!

Tonight as I was outside, I quickly thought, it's time to look at my fall/winter wardrobe options.  For alot of people, that means, get last years fall/winter clothes ready, and pack some of the summer stuff away for next summer.  I find this a little more frustrating!  In Sept of 06, I had lapband surgery, By Sept of 07, was taking loads of clothes to GOODWILL, WHY?  I would never need them again!!!!! (so I thought)  Sept of 08, most of those clothes still fit, some of them must have shrunk in storage! (Right?!?) Sept of 09.......ugh!  Frustrating, had to buy some new fall/winter clothes, but not too many, the minimum.. just to get by until I can get these,  "few extra sets of ......10 extra pounds off."    Get my point?   ( have 2 fall/winter wardrobes)  One that I would love to be able to get into by Christmas.....hmmm. I don't know how realistic I am being, but I am looking forward to wearing clothes that I didn't wear last fall/winter.   I should just pack up my summer clothes now and take them to GOODWILL, because I have this figured out now...I'm winning this battle.  I am getting excited about changes over the  next year.  BUT, maybe this time I need to keep a box of those clothes on my top shelf in my closet.....maybe it will be fun to make a quilt or something out of them someday.  A little reminder that,  I use to have issues every year with last years wardrobe.  hmmm.  A Victory Quilt!   I'm thinking my goal will be to go a full year, saving a box of spring/summer and then a box of fall/winter clothes.  This will take awhile, I understand that, but after I  maintain my goal weight for a year, I will get those clothes down and decide what to do with them......but I'm thinking a "Victory Quilt" is a great idea.   Using my OLD TOO BIG CLOTHES, to make a Quilt, to keep my NEW THINNER HEALTH BODY warm!   WoW!   Am I brilliant or what?  LOL!!!!!! 
Honestly, it will have more meaning to me than that, and help be a constant reminder of winning the lifelong battle of weight issues.   It's gonna be the coolest quilt ever!
I think this Blog is helping me alot too, sometimes I start writing,  without really knowing what to say, but it always ends up somehow encouraging me when I am done.  
Motivational Quote of the day:  ..."Above all, challenge yourself. You may well surprise yourself at what strengths you have, and what you can accomplish!"

Feeling good about my Journey and learning to focus on "ME"

I am feeling great tonight!! Best way I can describe it is , I finally have my mind and body in agreement. We are walking every morning, great way to start off my day. Weight loss seems a little slower than I want, but 7 pounds in the right direction is better than 7 pounds gained! It's a life change, it's not a diet. Right? So I am not in a race to lose weight, I have changed my lifestyle to get healthy, and of course, the weight loss will follow! I can already tell my energy level picking up from eating healthy and exercise. Everyday that I am able to crawl in bed at night, knowing I was in full control of my choices, I just get that much stronger.
As I was reading another weight loss blog last night, I found the following quote......"You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be". WOW!! Love that!
Before any weight loss surgery, you have to go through a Psychological evaluation. I guess to make sure you really know what your doing...LOL. Anyway, so you answer these questions about yourself and you visit with a Psychologist and he grades your score, and tells you what type of personality you are and tries to help you get to the bottom of your addiction. I don't make a good patient, and I probley don't learn what I should from them because I dont' want to be classified by a standard test and answer thing, and a "Score" to see, your this type of personality, therefore. Whatever! Right? I didn't have a tragic childhood with hidden secrets that made me addicted to food and I can't place blame on anyone or anything in my life. One of my biggest pet peeves in life is people that blame everyone else for all there problems and can't accept responsibility, drives me nuts!!! I know I am in control of what I put in my mouth and therefore, the blame lies with me, so I don't need to take a test and answer silly personal questions and have a stranger give me a grade. Yuck! But It was part of the process before I had a lap band, and I was determined to get it done, so I did it. It was just as I thought it would be, was a standard test of questions from birth to how you view yourself. etc etc. Then down the hall to get the "meeting on the long comfy couch".  As it turns out, I really liked the Psychologist, he was a really nice man, and we had a great conversation. He didn't really go over the questions and answers. "Thank Goodness" and we talked about how I am just a busy mom and I also talked to him about our Foster children  that we had at the time,  my job,  and my relationship with my husband, etc. Then he did ask me a few questions about being a Foster Parent.  I liked him alot, so I did feel comfortable talking with him. At the end, he did say, now, you are the kind of person that loves dealing with everyones problems, and do you think maybe sometimes you do that so you don't have to face your own problems? WHAT???? OK, so I get through and leave and think, glad that's over!!  Whatever!!   But....what did he mean by that? Weird!  So anyway, I wasn't that worried about it, my test was over, I passed! SURGERY TIME!!!
So then a year Post Op, you have to go back to the Psychologist, make sure you can deal with your new body, take another test, etc. So Here we go!
Back in his office again, by then I had lost 100 pounds, so I guess he makes sure I can handle my new Sexy body, LOL!!! Anyway, we talk about family, kids, Foster kids at that time, we didnt' have any because they had moved home, I had changed jobs.  After the same career for 13 years, I made a complete job change. We talked about the new career and how I felt it was better for my family. Again, at the end, he said, well, sounds good, but your still focusing on everyone else and not yourself. He said, its so much easier to focus on fixing and helping others, and then you don't have to focus on yourself. Be careful to put yourself in there somewhere or you'll end up back to square one. "WHAT?" What's with this guy? I did put some thought into it, but quickly though he's just a man, and they can't help it they tend to be a little selfish, so easy for him not to understand, women...right?    Seriously?  Are we suppose to put our own selfish needs and desires first? I have trouble with that thought pattern! I have thought about this conversation with the psychologist alot here lately, thinking maybe he had a valid point. For me, it has been easier to focus my attention on trying to save the world, and keeping my attention on everything else, but my own inability to take control of my own issues. Hmmm. Maybe he was a little bit correct. So I am trying to learn to focus on putting some "Me" time in the mix. It doesn't mean I am selfish, or a bad mom if I need to take some time out, "Just for Me". You have to first believe you are worth it...Hmmm, now there is a thought. So..Yes, I do believe I am worth it, I do believe I can achieve it and as much as I hate to admit it, I think that I am glad I took the time out for that little visit with the psychologist, although I didn't agree with him at the time, I can see now what he was talking about, and He was a little bit correct, not totally.(he's a man...and they have a selfish nature right?? LOL)...but some good points were made, and I am learning to focus some on "ME"!  :)

Week 2....already?

Tomorrow morning will be weigh in for week 2.  I am feeling really good about whatever the number will be, knowing that, as long as its in the right direction, that's all that matters.  I have never been a very patient person with myself, especially when it comes to losing weight.  I want it to move quickly, 1 or 2 pounds a week, when you have alot of weight to lose seems like forever.  However, since I have decided.....FINALLY, that it has to be a lifestyle change and since I have accepted its a forever thing, I guess I am not gonna worry if its 1 or 2 pounds a week.  
I had to attend an ice cream social this afternoon for a Quarterback Club meeting.  Wayne is working nights right now so I knew I would have our 3 year old, Cayden with me for the meeting, and he would want ice cream for sure.  We arrived a little late, went thru process and got him a bowl of ice cream, sat down for the meeting and it all went well!  I always feel good when I leave an event like that and didn't feel tempted to splurge.  Yeah!  
I think my biggest challenge this weekend has been with my 13 year old son.  I have really been trying to make this a family thing, leading by example and making healthier choices.  Trying to get him to understand and break old habits is very hard.  I feel bad for him, as I totally understand his thought process.  He has really been mad at me several times this weekend, when I have tried to show him why his choices are not healthy and what he should have instead.    I have decided tomorrow morning we will weigh in together, I don't think he can get tuned into this without seeing some of his own progress.  With his age and activity, I guess I need to know what works for him also, so this will give us a starting point.  He has started football so his activities have picked up, he wants to lose weight, but I know first hand how hard that is as a teenager.  I think if he sees progress on the scales that will give him more of a purpose and ambition to work towards a goal.  
If I could rewind time..........I would have forced healthier habits on my kids from earlier on.  Since nothing can be gained by feeling bad about that,  and I can't go back in time and fix things that are already done.  We move forward in this Journey and it's gonna be so worth it, and we are gonna do it, "One step at a time."

TGIF!!

Glad it's Friday!  It seems like its been a long week.  Busy week at work too!  I am off today, and not getting much accomplished at home.  Do you ever have so much to do you just don't know where to start?  That's me today.  I also have a very sore foot from my new walking shoes, and after walking this morning, I am really having issues with it today.  I think its just where my shoes rubbed, because they are new....not sure.   I do know, I will be wearing another pair of shoes until it heals.   OUCH!
We have a football scrimmage tonight and it's 100 degrees outside....trying to get excited about that.  LOL!
As I was trying to get motivated to do something, I did watch Dr. OZ this morning.  There was a lady that had lost 150 pounds on there and shared her story.  She avoids all fried foods, trans fats and white bread.  I love the Whole wheat bread, but he did say to make sure when your buying breads it says...100 percent whole wheat or whole grain.  We buy wheat bread, with the exception of my son that refuses to eat wheat bread, I buy the Wonder made with whole grain white....I doubt that its 100 percent wheat, gonna have to check on that.  I don't understand how he can even tell that big of a difference between wheat and white.
I recorded that segment on Dr. OZ so I could show him why wheat is better. 
I really think the key here into making this a lifelong journey is getting rid of all the old habits and replacing them with new healthier habits.  So I catch myself sometimes...like today on my day off for example, not being as productive as I should be because, I can't seem to get myself motivated to get started...ugh!  Such the wrong attitude, I need to quit spending so much time thinking and just get busy!  I have also had lunch, a cheese stick and my 10 almonds.  It's not even 3 o clock so no more extra calories for me today.!   That's what happens when I don't focus on breaking old habits.  I didn't eat anything bad off my list of items, but I wasn't even hungry after lunch.  So as I am sitting here writing this I realize...geez, so get off the computer and get busy!   LOL.   Ok, time to stop thinking, I gotta get busy!  :)
 "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going."

It's a lifetime Change!

The morning walk is going to work in my schedule great!   This morning towards the end of our walk, I mentioned to my friend, "so just think, after a year of this how great we are going to feel".   She said, "yes, but lets focus on when we reach our goal....think of all those people that are in shape.  They don't need to lose weight but they exercise to stay in shape."   Hmmmm.   Good point!  I have went through several times in my life that I have exercised routinely, to lose weight.  It's always been seasonal for me, I lose the weight, feel better and lose my focus. 
I have spent alot of time thinking about this today.  Thanks Christy...your right, it should last a lifetime, not just a year, its a lifestyle change!  Not only do we have to stay focused in our eating, but we have to continue the healthy lifestyle, which includes the daily exercise.  
I have enjoyed watching, "The biggest Loser" over the last couple of years.  The weight loss is amazing, the transformation taking place in the lives of the contestants is incredible, and the Marathon at the end is always so inspiring to me.  I am going to set a goal for myself, that when I attain my goal weight, I want to run a marathon.  I want to feel that accomplishment of having achieved that goal.  I tell this to my husband, and he kinda smirks, and says, "OK".  I really don't think he believes me, that I am going to ever get to my goal weight, let alone run a marathon, but "I AM and I WILL" .  I am excited, it's gonna be great!! :) 

 "Faith" by HILLSONG....  

Faith, I can move the mountain

I can do all things through Christ, I know

Faith, standing and believing

I can do all things through Christ who Strengthens me!

Weigh Day!!

Was so looking forward to step on the scales today, hoping for a bigger number, but thinking that my 5 pounds lost, was acceptable!  I didn't exercise everyday, and didn't really count calories, just focused on "healthy choices".   This week I have downloaded a calorie counter on my iPhone so I can count calories.  Will focus on staying under 1200 calories, and exercise everyday!
I have talked my walking partner into moving our evening walk to mornings at 5:45.  She isn't excited about getting up earlier in the morning, but I really feel like it will eliminate some of the evening excuses and schedule conflicts.   Then, if we decide to walk in the evening too, then it's just that much better.  I really should do my Wii Fit in the evening, with the family and walk in the mornings.   Hoping to give that a try this week.
Hayden, (my middle son) is 13 1/2, I have really been on him about making healthier choices and so I have talked him into packing his lunch this school year.  He was pretty proud of himself this morning, after packing his lunch with healthy choices.  He even asked me questions to see if I thought that he had the right amount of calories.    Tonight, when I came home from walking, he told me he thought he would get on the treadmill and walk.  His idea.   He is one of those kids, that does much better if it is his idea.   YEAH!!!  I am feeling very good about that!!!!
I love reading motivational quotes as I am trying to stay positive and keep my mind right, in this journey to becoming healthier.  I found this quote tonight.    Worry is a think stream of fear which, if encouraged, becomes a wide channel into which all other thoughts flow. Assume an attitude of positive expectancy!   I like this quote, because I tend to worry......a lot!!  I do realize how silly it is to worry, especially about those things in which we have no control.  I know I just need to have faith, and stop the insane thoughts and doubt that can control my mind. If I let those things control my mind, I can easily lose focus of my goals.  So, gonna think positive thoughts and not let fear and doubt come in!  It's so nice to feel in control!!   :)

Learning to live today and for the future, not dwelling on the past!!

As I was reading another blog tonight I found this quote:  "I think that the key to success is to be in the present. You can't change the things you've already done, but you do have the power to make good decisions right now."   I think this is so true.  I often wish I could hit a "Rewind" button and try over, knowing I could make better decisions this time.   But what's done is done, we move forward, live for today and make choices that will change the future.  I read that and thought....WOW!!!   So so true!!!
This has been a good week for me as far as eating healthy,  but the exercise the past couple of days has  not been  so good.  It's 104 degrees outside, still 100 degrees at 9:00 in the evening, finding it really hard to want to go for a walk.  Like my excuse?  It sounds reasonable, huh?  Except for the fact that I  have a treadmill in my house and a pool in my backyard so I have to stop making excuses and get to moving!!  I'm excellent at making up excuses of why it just won't work today!!  How I've had a hard day and don't have the time, there is laundry to do and dishes that need done and then of course...... I just need to relax tonight, it's just too hot outside.  I'll be better when it cools off!  (I can justify it all out in my own mind really well.)
This week I have downloaded an app on my iPhone that I can journal my food, and daily exercise on.  I know I need to journal my food, it really helps stay on track.   And no more excuses on the exercise either.
Monday will be my first official "Weigh Day"  I am excited about that, and it's always worth while to see some progress.   So my goal this next week is not to say I will try and exercise everyday, it is that I will be exercising every day because, "The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!"   And I do know the great feeling of triumph and I can't wait for a few months to go by and the hard work starts paying off!!   :)

There will always be tempations!!!!

Today in the break room, we had freshly baked Neiman Marcus Choc Chip cookies. (These cookies rock......my absolute favorite.)  We were celebrating another employees birthday.   I knew they would be there today, so this morning I prayed.  "God give me the strength to avoid those nasty cookies that I know are from the devil".  lol     Well it worked.  I didn't look twice at them.   I ate a healthy breakfast this morning, knowing I would be stronger if I wasn't hungry!   I feel really good about not giving into, "just one bite".
After work, a trip to the grocery store was a must, no leftover salad today.  I ended up having a bowl of multi grain cheerios tonight,  Yum!    Didn't do so well with the kids though, baked some steak fingers and they had them with green beans.  (one healthy thing ..anyway)  But those steak fingers are full of fat, I have to make this a family thing.  So to the store without kids tomorrow, with a list that was carefully planned out to prepare healthier meals for the whole family.
I was thinking today about how many things are focused around food.   Just about everything really.  About every holiday has sweets and dinners and food of some kind.  When we celebrate we do it with cookies, cakes, cook outs, going out to eat...................  It's never ending.    When I stop and think, how many times I have put off starting a healthier lifestyle because of upcoming events or holidays, it's no wonder I have waited this long.  LOL!   I didn't want to ruin it, so I could justify it really well in my mind.   That's really just an excuse, glad I'm over that!  LOL 
School starts tomorrow, this is going to be a great year.  Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can.  :)
 

Getting Organized, Planning meals...... A shopping list is a must!!

Tonight, I am thankful for my leftover salad from lunch.  My lack of meal planning often leaves us wondering what's for dinner at 6:00 when I get home, by then we are just tired and hungry and too often end up just going out to eat.   I have decided to start my grocery list tonight.  It's so important to plan ahead and meal plan to stay healthy.   Wayne is working evenings for the rest of this week..... so I'm on cooking duty.   I have decided it's hot outside, great sandwich night for the kids tonight.   I will have my leftover salad from lunch.
Being blessed with 4 day work week,  I have decided to take time out on Fridays to do grocery shopping and meal planning.  I know if I don't plan ahead, we will end up eating out at least 2 or 3 nights of the week and it would be so much healthier for all of us to eat at home.  (not to mention much cheaper)
I have been walking in the evenings, it's "HOT"  but I feel so accomplished crawling into bed, after a day of being in control of food and excersize to top it off.  Thank goodness I have a great friend to walk with, so conversation is good and it really makes walking much more enjoyable!  I can't believe school is starting Friday for the kids, which will make meal plannnig that much more important.  I have two boys in football, one high school, one jr. high, so that means football games on Monday and Friday nights.  Careful planning will avoid stopping at Sonic for dinner after the game.   I've never been much of a meal planner and I don't enjoy cooking.  But, it's all worth it, and strange as it seems to me........I'm actually feeling excited about it.  Lol!      My thought for the day......"Rule your mind or it will rule you!!"

Keeping the Willpower to achieve long term success!

Day 2.....another day with temptations all around and still feeling strong!  I think the first few days of any weight loss plan are the hardest for me.  With each day that passes, that I don't give into temptation,  the Willpower grows stronger.   What I am trying to learn with my new healthier lifestyle,  is how to keep the strength.   How to  make  the right choices,  that will last a lifetime. Today, I get to work and a coworker is back from Hawaii, bringing with her great treats to share at work.  My office is located right beside the break room, so it is very accessible all day long and the temptations often call my name.   I am pretty good in the mornings, but alot of times in the afternoon the voices get louder and I often cave in..."just one little bite, to taste it."   The bite of course, turns into one more bite and then comes....."Wow, I've blown it for today, so tomorrow is a new day"!  This thought pattern is destructive in my weight loss and it is what causes me to be regain pounds that were so hard to lose.  So for me, right now there are no, "just one bites", hopefully as I gain control in this lifestyle,  I will also no longer reason that it's ok to go ahead and have what you want the rest of today and start fresh tomorrow.  As we know, tomorrow can repeat itself for months.  I am not planning on living a life that never has a piece of chocolate.  That would be failure for sure......what I want to do is learn how to have control and not let these little things control me.
Other temptations followed, out to lunch with the coworkers, I managed to opt for a healthy salad, and stayed strong.  Feeling accomplished for the day, arriving home to my husband having cooked dinner, that didn't offer healthy options.  I remained strong and it didn't take me very long to be able to sit down with the family with my own healthier choices and join them for dinner. 
Let me say, I am very blessed to have a husband that loves me unconditionally. He does not have a weight problem, although as a child he suffered from..... growing out, before he grew up, he grew into his weight well.  He has been blessed with a metabolism that works overtime.  He has never made me feel unattractive due to my weight issues and he tries to be as supportive as he can.  My husband works shift work. With our schedules over the years, and my lack of interest in cooking, he cooks about 80% of the time. When it comes to asking him to cook healthier options, its hard.  To him,  it's simple, we all have to eat, just eat less, don't snack and you'll be fine.    Oh geez!   If it was only that simple.  So  I am trying to work on showing him, why it would be so much better for all of us, if he'd cook some healthier dishes on the nights he cooks.  Any suggestions?  He is a very good cook, but he loves his carbs. 
Well I have found some other blogs out there on weight loss that are awesome.  I am finding it very encouraging to read and it's nice to be able to "Vent" my thoughts and  feelings to others that can relate and understand.  Today I realized, "Success is a journey, not a destination."   I am feeling really good today about this Journey.  :) 

It should be so simple, so why must it be so difficult?

Eat Less, and Exercise and "Lose the weight".   Sounds pretty easy, huh?   There are plenty of healthy food choices out there!   So, make better choices and exercise more.   This is probably one of the simplest solutions to the growing rate of Obesity in America.  So why am I in the position I am in once again?   I have lost alot of weight in my lifetime, so I feel like an expert in weight loss.   Now I am faced asking  myself once again,  "How am I going to get it off this time?"  How humiliating it is to lose alot of weight and then gain it back, and I always tell myself, I won't gain it back this time.  I guess it would be like a smoker, quiting smoking for 10 or more years, and then start smoking again.  Why, would they do that?  Or an alcoholic not touching a drink for years and start drinking again.  They just drank or smoked socially that one time and then slowly over time their addiction takes control again.   I guess that's how I can relate and understand addiction.  And how I have in the past, slowly let my addiction and choices take control and allow me to gain the weight back that I worked so hard to lose.  No matter what "Type of addiction" a person has, I sincerely believe they can overcome it, if they really have a desire to.    Let's see, NutriSystem, Phen Phen, Weight Watchers, Grapefruit diet, Atkins, Lap Band...........I have done them all.    To sum it up though,  when I put my mind to it, no matter what diet I have chosen to follow, the basic rules are pretty much the same,  "Eat Less, and Exercise and Lose the weight".  I have decided to start this Blog, "My Journey to a Healthier Me!" because  I want to make myself accountable, and share my story.  I look forward to the advice others have to share.  I have a different outlook this time, I don't care about the charts in the doctors office, I just want to be healthy.  I have never been the ideal weight on the doctor chart, that isn't my goal.  I want to feel good, and be healthy.  I want to have control in my choices and not let my choices control me.
So it's not a "Diet", It's not Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers, it's a lifestyle, a lifestyle that I want for myself and for my family.  I am excited about this Blog, and hearing comments and advice that I hope can be helpful to all that read it.   I am thankful to have a wonderful, supportive group of friends and family and with this support and my faith,  knowing that...."I can do all things through Christ , He gives me strength when I have none." So With God and the support of all my friends, I know this weight is coming off,  and I am so excited to be on this "Journey to Healthier Me!"